Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Make the Pulitzer Great Again!

Deplorable! This is the bigliest scandal to rock the classical music world since we heard about that opera conductor being a bad hombre...and then allowed him to have a celebrated career for decades. The Deep State has infiltrated the Pulitzer Board and awarded the prize for Music to a Kendrick Lamar. When the “urban” music scene sends its people, they’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime. They’re rappers.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have lots of friends who are (whispered) rappers. I love (whispered) rappers. They’re fine people! It’s just that rap isn’t art, okay? Art is beautiful. Art is elite. Art doesn’t have curse words!

Russia, are you listening? I hope you’re able to find the missing Pulitzer votes. Don’t listen to the fake news mainstream media. And don’t even get me started on the failing Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times!

Look, I’m not a rap-ist. I just want us to go back to the good old days of the Pulitzer, when prizes were given to hyper-intellectual art pieces whose framework comes from centuries-long Western traditions that definitely don't intentionally exclude specific genres based on outdated paradigms. 

Or at least give it to a piece of music that most Americans don't even like.

I mean, DAMN.