Maybe I need to take a break from watching Cheers reruns at night.

Last night I dreamt that the Princess of Team Cuddle and I were being held hostage by a band of thugs that was led by Carla Tortelli.

PMS. It's an ugly business.

Today, I ate nearly an entire bag of kettle potato chips for breakfast, lunch and dinner. In a rare moment of self-control (baha) and penitence, I grabbed the remaining stash of chips I had left in the pantry and went to throw them in the garbage can. (Wasteful, I know... If there was a hungry, homeless person lurking outside, I would have given it to him.) But, somehow - and I don't even know how it happened - in the three feet of distance from our pantry to the garbage can, the bag(s) of chips somehow managed to turn themselves upside down in my hands and empty themselves in little crumblets all over the kitchen floor so that the simple two second sacrifical task ended with me on my knees sweeping up greasy potato chips with our little hand sweeper. There's a lesson in here somewhere.

Goings on.

Our lovely Texas forecast:

When does it end??? WHEEENNNN??!!! (Answer: October)

Schmooblebons left last Sunday for the next three weeks. Before he left, Schmoobs and I spent the afternoon running errands about town, which brought us at one point to Chipotle for lunch. Our Chipotle just happens to be located in the same shopping center as our PetSmart. And as we were pulling out of the Chipotle parking lot, I spotted in the distance the telltale signage on the side of a small bus that belonged to a local animal rescue center. So I suddenly exclaimed, "PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY! PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY!" And then after Schmoobs regained his composure and finished gently scolding me for making such wild sudden gesticular exclamations while he is driving, we ambled on over to PetSmart to coo at the sweet puppies.  The unofficial mascot of the shelter is a little weiner dog named Arlo who we had met at the last PETSMART ANIMAL ADOPTION DAY! and he is always a favorite with the public. He, surprisingly, did not get his injury from an accident or fight, but rather a degenerative disease that made his hindlegs useless :( But, man, does he get around on his wheels! Such a sweet, friendly doggie. He also looks pretty snazzy with his fringed denim vest.

After over 6 1/2 years together, Schmoobs and I took another step forward together by finally purchasing an actual dining table. Mainly, this was spurred by my desire to have a nice desk surface to work from since I would be spending much more time doing official business on the laptop and I learned after about two days that doing so from a reclined position on the couch resulted in searing wrist pain. Curses! So I did some research, found this nice set from Overstock, and sent the link to Schmoobs so he could buy it :) (He actually encouraged me to pick one out...I'm not that kind of a girlfriend.) Anyway, it's modest and clearly only built for two, but it looks really nice and is a pretty timeless design. I think maybe for our ten-year dating anniversary, we'll get around to buying a coffee table. And then maybe a bookshelf after we retire.

Story time! I was out getting breakfast groceries and going to the post office when the dining set packages were delivered. When I came home, Schmoobs was surrounded by a wild mess of cardboard, styrofoam, an assembled table and assorted chair pieces. He looked upset and crazed, and he explained to me that, while getting the delivery, our Princess of Team Cuddle had run out of the door and chased after the delivery guy who was by that point standing on the top flight of stairs heading back down. The delivery guy was totally aloof towards our sweet puppy and didn't seem to care that, in her excitement, she had started to slip on the stairs and was about two seconds away from falling down to the ground level of concrete...about thirty feet below. Schmoobles sprinted down and grabbed her collar before she plummeted to her demise. Meanwhile, he said all the delivery guy did was look down and nonchalantly say, "Your dog's slipping." UGH. Can you imagine?!?! I know it's not your dog or responsibility...BUT REACH DOWN AND GRAB HER FOR EFF'S SAKE!! 

Anyway. Schmooblets was so upset that he tore open the box and started to assemble the table before I got home to try and calm his nerves. And then I proceeded to ask him every eight hours, "So...when do you think you'll get the chairs assembled?" until I finally got bored and impatient enough one evening while he took a colossal fve-hour nap that I assembled them myself. It took me literally thirty minutes just to stare at the nonsensical wordless instructions enough that it finally made sense kind of. And I did it!! I am not exaggerating at all when I tell you that I was in the process of tightening the very last screw on the last chair when Schmoobs opened our bedroom door, rubbed his eyes, saw what I was doing and said, "Oh, hey, I can help you hon." BAH. I am woman! Hear me roar! And it's not because I'm PMS-ing!

The very first (and so far, only) meal we've eaten together on the new dining set was Sunday brunch before he left. That's toast with cream cheese and smoked salmon, eggs sunny side up on a bed of sauteed spinach and onions, organic chicken and sage sausages, grapes, smoked cheddar cheese and dees nutz. Schmoobs also got us some soy caramel macchiatos from Star*ucks while I cooked. He iz good boy.

And now that he is gone, and the summer semester is over and I am working from home, I am spending A LOT of time getting all creative and stuff in the kitchen. Consequently, I am spending a lot of time eating. But it's ok because I think I might be PMS-ing now so it's totally justified. My sister texted me several nights ago about these incredible potato chips she had that involved bleu cheese, balsamic vinegar and basil. So I decided to try it! This here is the epitome of everything I am supposed to not eat. Greek yogurt, goat cheese and bleu cheese. Again, I am PMS-ing and am not in control of my belly's desires.  

TA DA! Kettle chips with bleu cheese sauce, balsamic drizzle and basil. DELICIOUS. I consulted Google and it told me of one restaurant that serves this sort of thing but with sweet potato chips. Iiinteresting. I'll have to try it next time.

And then the other night I was sitting on the couch just pre-menstruating and generally not being productive (probably watching the Cooking Channel) and it dawned on me: What if you combined cream cheese and Nutella to make a cake frosting?! At the same time, I was also consumed by the fact that I had been craving lemon cake for about three days. So I set about baking a cake to serve as the vehicle for the Cream Cheese Nutella frosting. Here, from this morning, we have a Neapolitanish cake: lemon with orange marmalade swirled in, vanilla maple with almonds and dark chocolate and espresso. I haven't made the frosting yet but probably will later this evening.

The main reason I never got around to making the frosting this morning? Because as I had finished the cake batter and had the cake baking away in the oven, I went to tackle the mound of dishes that had been accumulating in the sink for the past two days. And right when I was down to the last thing, the glass mixing bowl, this effing slimy little baby lizard wiggled up at the speed of light from the bottom and ALMOST ATE MY FACE OFF. Ok, not really. It was small and harmless - and kind of cute - but it was really quick and unexpected and I squealed like a little baby while throwing around the giant glass bowl that was full of dirty batter water. It hung out in the sink ALL MORNING despite my every attempt to leave for half an hour at a time and come back in hopes that it magically disappeared. But no.

Finally, enough time had past and I had talked to the freaking baby lizard enough, "Hey. Go away. Go on, stupid lizard. Go. Leave." etc. that we kind of bonded and I decided that it would be cruel to grab the cat and make him eat it so I wouldn't have to deal with it. So I pep talked myself for about an hour while standing atop a chair so that I could keep an eye on the thing without having to get too close and finally managed to concoct a plan. I grabbed a large tupperware container and put inside it a basil leaf and a grape. What. I don't know, don't lizards eat green things?? And then I plopped it into the sink. And then I spent the next twenty minutes using water from the faucet and our kitchen dish brush to coax the little bugger ever closer ...and finally into the tupperware! And then I waited a long time for it to settle down at the bottom and stop moving so that I wouldn't come into risk of it making a sudden move TOWARDS JUMPING UP AND EATING MY FACE.

 

And then I popped the lid on the tupperware and quickly ran outside and to the back so I could deposit it out next to the lake. I assume that's where lizards like to hang out. I could have just plopped him outside the front door, but after all that time we spent together, I didn't want him to just go ahead and die from sizzling in the heat of the sun with no shade or water near enough. See what a good person I am?! I sacrificed the safety of my own face for this little baby lizard. I shook him out of the tupperware right next to the water by those trees and first thing he did was scamper out to the edge and jump kamikaze style Aieeeeee! into the water. YOU'RE WELCOME, LIZARD.

Anyway, I should probably try and do some more work now. Or maybe make that frosting.

An actual Sunday.

For the whole week - well, really the entire last...six years? - but mostly yesterday, I found myself typing and working and writing away on the computer thinking, "I wonder what it's like to have the type of job where you don't feel obligated to fill in any and all free time with more work. Like, as a musician, free time equals "more practice time." And as an educator, weekends equal "two days that you have to get ready for the next week of classes."

And, because the universe likes to times things just so, I found myself today answering a phone call from a friend (really the only real girl friend I have here in TX) who lives 45 minutes away, but who goes to church five minutes from where Schmoobles and I live, wanting to know if I was available to hang out after she was done with the service. So I opened up the computer, finished up the very last bit of work that I had to get done before tomorrow, vacuumed the condo, fed the animals, took a quick shower all in time for her to come over. And then I made some spinach, onion, tomato and goat cheese flat breads with egg and coffee and watched the season premiere of Big Brother (woot!). And then we meandered over to our fabulous neighborhood country club Rich People Swimming Pool where we managed to bypass the $100+/mo membership fees by slipping them $5 instead and spent the afternoon poolside drinking cocktails and eating nachos, people watching (i.e. judging) all the wealthy elite of our community with their pulled up brows and inflated chesticles and ill-mannered children. It was pretty entertaining.

Though it doesn't happen very often, being able to spend a day off as an actual day off and enjoying the good life, even if you are just playing pretend, is nice every once in a while. But, in a weird way, I'm grateful that it's not the norm. As I told my friend, you'd probably stop appreciating it after a while. Not us, though...

They take your drink orders from the adjoining bar/restaurant. And then serve it to you in the pool. Criminy!

Thank you, Cooking Channel.

Redundancy alert!

Spice Goddess: "This tamarind mango chutney is made with tamarind."

Also, I have lost six pounds in the last week. 10% from eating healthier the last five days. And 90% from NOT BEING ON MY PERIOD ANYMORE. Man, how many cheesy doodle poofs did I devour on my pre-menseseses week? It must have been impressive.

And since I'm talking about nothing in this post, I went out and got myself a pretty fantastic $7.50 (plus a 20% tip...) haircut yesterday. Beauty schools for this win! My student stylist even turned me on to the "secret" of hair scrubs for scalp and hair care. She used it on my hair instead of the usual shampoo and I seriously think it did just as much for my hair as the actual cut did. Anyway. Look into it if you're unhappy with your shampoo and feel like your scalp can use some warm fuzzy hugs.

TMI.

I literally weigh 2.5 pounds less this morning than I did last night. Helloooo coffee!

And on that note, I hope to post some more foodie stuff later tonight. Maybe a little something about roasting some vegetables (Heavy oven work. Perfect for when it's one million degrees outside, right?) or maybe something different. We'll see.

For now, it's a day of writing and testes testing. More on that later.