Wedding planning to-do list:
1. TOO MUCH AAAAUUUUGH.
Why can't I be the dude in this scenario and just show up?
(Blah blah, it's a very meaningful day and we will treasure it forever I know I know, etc. just let me have my momentary freak outs, okay?)
Weddings, man. Am I right? No matter how much you insist that you want something easy, simple, small, and uncomplicated, wedding planning still finds a way to be stressful and difficult. I can't even imagine what it's like for couples who actually want something huge and extravagant and ridiculous. But maybe they enjoy that type of thing. Anyway. I like to think that in some parallel universe there's another Stubborn Tomato that got engaged to a Schmooblebottoms and they wisely decided to just elope, goddamnit.
I mean, not to sound bitter and unpleasant. I am excited and really looking forward to The Big Day (ugh eyeroll) and celebrating with our family and friends. But, man, the cost. There's something about getting hitched in your thirties instead of as fetuses (i.e. your twenties) that really makes you struggle with the "Do we host a wedding? Or do we get a new stove for our kitchen?" dilemma. Sigh. Adulthood is awesome.
I know that a lot of this wedding-related financial stress is coming to the surface because all this preparation also happens to coincide with the same exact month where my assistantship funding through the University is karate chopped into oblivion and I have yet to score an interview for any of the jobs that I have applied for. I wouldn't be nearly this worried and anxious if I had a salary to offset the spending. But I have faith that the job thing will work itself out the way it is meant to work itself out, and I won't feel so personally financially choked.
Anyway, on to more innocuous things. Like squirrels.
They're cute. They're dumb. They're like woodsy rats with big bushy tails that quiver in some strange, disturbing way that makes you wonder if they are doing some weird sexual rodenty thing that you shouldn't be watching. They also love pilfering our birdseed, inhibiting the beautiful miniature feathered dinosaurs of our region to grace our living room window view. They also don't realize that the fresh, delicious corn that I put out specifically for them is infinitely more desirable (I assume) than those old, stale sunflower seeds.
1. TOO MUCH AAAAUUUUGH.
Why can't I be the dude in this scenario and just show up?
(Blah blah, it's a very meaningful day and we will treasure it forever I know I know, etc. just let me have my momentary freak outs, okay?)
Weddings, man. Am I right? No matter how much you insist that you want something easy, simple, small, and uncomplicated, wedding planning still finds a way to be stressful and difficult. I can't even imagine what it's like for couples who actually want something huge and extravagant and ridiculous. But maybe they enjoy that type of thing. Anyway. I like to think that in some parallel universe there's another Stubborn Tomato that got engaged to a Schmooblebottoms and they wisely decided to just elope, goddamnit.
I mean, not to sound bitter and unpleasant. I am excited and really looking forward to The Big Day (ugh eyeroll) and celebrating with our family and friends. But, man, the cost. There's something about getting hitched in your thirties instead of as fetuses (i.e. your twenties) that really makes you struggle with the "Do we host a wedding? Or do we get a new stove for our kitchen?" dilemma. Sigh. Adulthood is awesome.
I know that a lot of this wedding-related financial stress is coming to the surface because all this preparation also happens to coincide with the same exact month where my assistantship funding through the University is karate chopped into oblivion and I have yet to score an interview for any of the jobs that I have applied for. I wouldn't be nearly this worried and anxious if I had a salary to offset the spending. But I have faith that the job thing will work itself out the way it is meant to work itself out, and I won't feel so personally financially choked.
Anyway, on to more innocuous things. Like squirrels.
They're cute. They're dumb. They're like woodsy rats with big bushy tails that quiver in some strange, disturbing way that makes you wonder if they are doing some weird sexual rodenty thing that you shouldn't be watching. They also love pilfering our birdseed, inhibiting the beautiful miniature feathered dinosaurs of our region to grace our living room window view. They also don't realize that the fresh, delicious corn that I put out specifically for them is infinitely more desirable (I assume) than those old, stale sunflower seeds.
Hey. Dummy. Eat that fresh, delicious corn that's effing just sitting there waiting for you.
Yes, that corn. The one that is sitting there completely in your direct field of vision and glistening with golden beauty in the spring sunshine.
There, at least one of you isn't a dummy.
On a related note, because of the effing squirrels climbing and humping all over that bird house and shaking the seeds everywhere, the mulch underneath regularly sprouts green things. Because I am s-m-r-t, I figured out nearly instantly that those were sunflower sprouts. So I ate one. Just out of curiosity. Pretty tasty and nutty. Also, I'm pretty sure that enough time has passed since we sprayed the area with weed killer that maybe I won't die from self-inflicted poisoning.
Other coping mechanisms of the day:
1. Ran our shower curtain liner in the wash with bleach. If I can't clear my life of financial anxiety, at least I can clear it of mold and mildew.
2. Bought poppy seeds to plant. Must also buy peony and jasmine to plant. If I can't watch my bank account grow and thrive, at least I can watch other beautiful things grow and thrive.
3. Drink coffee. I may be stressed and anxious, but at least I have a healthy colon.
2. Bought poppy seeds to plant. Must also buy peony and jasmine to plant. If I can't watch my bank account grow and thrive, at least I can watch other beautiful things grow and thrive.
3. Drink coffee. I may be stressed and anxious, but at least I have a healthy colon.
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