Tuesday, December 29, 2015

I made this! Quizza Edition.

Guys! I did this thing, and you should, too. Unless you're watching your calories or something. But actually, even then, you should still do this because


and we all have to die sometime. Yikes, how morbid. Scratch that. You should do it anyway because it is freaking delicious and easy and you're allowed to do things like this in moderation, OKAY?

Okay.

The first thing you do is go to Kroger and buy a pre-made pie crust because my feelings on making dough of any kind are as follows:


So then once you have your crust, place it inside a round pie pan and score it a little bit in the bottom with a small knife. I don't know, I remember doing this a lot when I was first learning to bake when I was little. Something to do about preventing it from bubbling or whatever. If you care a lot about it, you can beautify the edges of your crust along the pan, but I kind of like to keep things simple and rustic. Hashtag lazy.


Next, you have to parbake the crust a little. Again, I learned to do this in my youth when dealing with pizzas or quiches or whatever. I think if you don't do this, you'll end up with an undercooked soggy dough at the bottom. Gross.

Anyway, at this point, if you're anything like me, you're going to obviously have tossed out the box with the baking directions on it before reading anything, so you'll have to guess about time and temperature. I did about ten or fifteen minutes at 400 degrees F and it turned out just fine. Just do it until it is barely starting to get kind of golden, but still soft. Take it out of the oven and set it aside while you do other things.

By other things, I mean slice up half an onion, some mushrooms, and some pepperoni. I don't know. Do as much as you want of each thing. You do you. The more you get to know my cooking style, the more you'll figure out that I hate measuring things, which is the primary reason I far prefer cooking to baking. Cooking is so much more forgiving and allows for a great degree of improvisation and adjustment. With baking, you put in half a teaspoon too much of something and you end up with a non-delicious brick of crap instead of a moist cake. Just my experience.


So you toss these things in a medium high pan. No need to add oil or anything since the pepperoni is plenty fatty (read: delicious). Do the mushrooms at the end because they need the least pre-cooking. Saute until everything just starts to get soft and almost-caramelized. Don't cook everything all the way since it'll continue cooking in the oven. At the very end, toss in whatever flavoring things your heart desires. I did black pepper, red chili flakes, garlic powder, and parsley. If I had oregano and such, I obviously would have added some in to make it more pizza-ish, but I don't. I really need to up my spice game. (NEW YEARS RESOLUTION #1!) Turn the stove off and set this aside as well.


In a bowl, whisk together six eggs and some shredded cheese. I used goat cheddar. If you have some cream in your refrigerator, add some of that to make the quiche fluffier. I do not typically keep cream in our kitchen because consuming cow dairy causes my body to protest in unpleasant ways. Also add some salt and black pepper in your eggs just for gigs and shittles.


Now we're getting to the fun part. Put your onion, mushroom, and pepperoni mix into the pie crust. Top it off with the egg mixture. Add a few more pepperoni slices and sprinkle a little more shredded cheese on top. Shake a little more chili flakes and parsley (mostly because it looks good) on top and slide it on back into the oven.

Are you surprised to know that I didn't time this? I think I did probably another twenty minutes at 400 degrees. I was video-chatting with my family at the same time and I got distracted. Just keep checking on it. You'll know when it's done...


...because it will look like this! All golden and bubbly and delicious.


And slice into it.

And then plate it.

And then go outside to your patio so you can Instagram it in perfect natural lighting. Hashtag quizza.


And then eat your slice of quizza while enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee.

ps. These leftovers are bomb. Cold quizza is just as good as cold pizza.

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